15 Life Hacks/Tricks to Simplify Your Life #249 »

ultrafacts:

1. The true mark of maturity is when somebody hurts you and you try to understand their situation instead of trying to hurt them back.

2. Cant get a splinter out? Apply a paste of baking soda & water, then wait for the splinter to pop out of the skin.

3. Be with someone who is proud to have…







nickiminajvevo:

when you see something you wanna reblog but refresh the page

image




In this night and in this hour, I call upon the ancient power




princeowl:

i want to take a moment to talk about the movie ‘khumba' because i just noticed its been added to netflix 

EVERYONE NEEDS TO CHECK OUT THIS MOVIE!! i watched it a few months ago and i loved it, here’s the synopsis 

Rejected by his superstitious herd, a half-striped zebra embarks on a daring quest to earn his stripes but finds the courage and self-acceptance to save all the animals of the Great Karoo

some cool stuff about this movie

  • the studio behind this movie is triggerfish animation, based in cape town south africa. it’s a pretty new studio, they did that movie ‘adventures in zambezia’ in 2012 (the one with the birds) i think it’s awesome to see a movie made in the same place it’s set 
  • it’s BEAUTIFULLY animated and the art direction is pretty good too especially considering it wasn’t made by any big name studios. the character designs are more interesting and varied than a lot of cgi animated stuff disney has put out i’ll say that
  • the movie was inspired by and dedicated to the quagga project, which was an effort to save the quagga (which looks kinda like a half striped zebra) from extinction 

the cast is really impressive for a 20 million budget movie too btw

image

CHECK KHUMBA OUT ON NETFLIX!!! REALLY WORTH A WATCH 




shorm:

pigfacedlady:

vardaesque:

rheabekkahc:

What the hell is that fox doing?

probably making a withdrawal seeing as he’s in line at the atm

my favorite part about this picture is that people saw the fox there and just started queuing behind it

well yeah, cutting in line is rude

shorm:

pigfacedlady:

vardaesque:

rheabekkahc:

What the hell is that fox doing?

probably making a withdrawal seeing as he’s in line at the atm

my favorite part about this picture is that people saw the fox there and just started queuing behind it

well yeah, cutting in line is rude




findchaos:

amateur-1314:

SHIT I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

Every time this video shows up, I 1. have to watch it again, and 2. laugh until I’m crying like I have a problem.




dactro:

conigliomannaro:

dyamirityofthelord:

lucisensitivesatan:

trategos:

boyfriend or girlfriend requirements:

  • you have to kill the spider

but spiders are cute and innocent! it should be:

  • you have to catch the spider and release it in the garden

okay

boyfriend or girlfriend requirements:

  • just get that spider away from me i don’t care if you send it to italy just get it away

DO NOT SEND THE SPIDER TO ITALY

you’re right

we will send it to france

image




theodd1sout:

This will help you write good.




castielcampbell:

dynastylnoire:

stovestalker:

noshamejustlove:

zorobro:

shota-purinsu:

zorobro:

linzthenerd:

theguilteaparty:

crippledcuriosity:

itsfondue:

Isn’t it nice how people twist their religious scripture to suit their weds but when it’s used against them it’s suddenly not okay

I talked to a monk about this quote once (we have mutual friends, and he came to a New Year’s Eve party at my shared art studio). He said this isn’t even talking about homosexuality. That the bible never actually says homosexuality is wrong. What that passage means is this:

Women were treated as subservient and it that you shouldn’t treat other men as subservient, like they are beneath you. It is not talking about homosexuality. If it was, it would say it outright since the bible lists other things outright.

I take the word of a monk who have studied the bible extensively more than a self proclaimed Christian.

The above text, I would like to point out is from the point of view of this translation of the original Hebrew. I spoke with my cousin’s rabbi on the matter and his response was different, saying that it was a mistranslation. See, the true translation says that a man shall not lie with another in the bed of a woman, which is to say, the Hebrews had a shit ton of rules about when a man was or was not allowed in a woman’s bed and private quarters (including, if she didn’t want you there, you weren’t allowed there. Hebrew women were also allowed to divorce their husbands and the image of the ‘oppressive Hebrew people’ is an image that was propogated by Christianity which, historically speaking, doesn’t treat the Jewish people too well and liked to paint them as being rather barbaric and backwards and cultish with their traditions, which, another piece of fun info, their traditions were one of the main reasons why the Jewish people were less likely, in medieval times, to die of the plague. Because washing your hands and avoiding the dead and vermin and the like was a lot of help. Of course the Christians persecuted them for not dying but that’s another matter. I’m sidetracked). So the verse is literally saying ‘Don’t fuck in some lady’s bed because that’s just goddamn rude’

Also, whenever a Christian brings the book of Leviticus up, you should feel free to point out that these are rules that were given to make the Hebrew people prepared for when the son of God came to earth. In Christianity, it’s believed the son of God was Jesus. So by following the rules set in Leviticus or pushing them as things we should follow, they’re saying that Jesus was not the son of God, and that Jesus did not, in fact, die for our sins. Jewish people believe, in their faith, that the son of God hasn’t yet been born, so many choose to follow these rules.

Most people of course roll their eyes when I explain the translation of the verse (full breakdown found here) but it’s always fun to point out the nature of the rules in Leviticus and the implications of following them. 

I’m a theology student and I am on the verge of crying because of how accurate this commentary is. Historical context is simultaneously the most interesting and most important part of interpreting any texts. 

Most religious people seem to base their beliefs on things that are severely mistranslated. I wish they would do their research before using the bible for hate.

I studied theology extensively and was going to become a theologist until I switched majors. The above commentary is 100% accurate and what I try to stress in a lot if conversations with Bible Thumpers.

Jesus also affirms the homosexual relationship between the Roman Centurion and his “slave”. The particular Greek word used to refer to this special slave was “pais”. Greek language studies and contexts show that a “pais” was a male love slave. Regular slaves were called “dolos”. The Centurion makes this distinction clearly when he asks Jesus to heal his slave (pais), and then to prove his status he tells Jesus that his slaves (dolos) go when he tells them to. But this slave (pais) was special. He was the Centurion’s lover.

Hearing this, Jesus was so amazed he says he had not found ANYONE ELSE who had such great faith. He then blesses the Centurion and heals his male lover.

Matthew 8:5-13

THIS IS WHAT THE BIBLE REALLY TEACHES ABOUT SAME SEX COUPLES.

In short, the English adaptation is a mistranslated farce.

^^^^this

reblogging for the comments ^^^^^^

EXCUSE ME WHILE I REBLOG THIS FIFTY MILLION TIMES

This commentary is so powerful. Someone is going to get delivered.

IN OTHER WORDS JESUS BLESSED THEM, AND THEIR UNION!




omniscientraven:

sydriansdragon:

batman-nolanverse:

"There’s no cure for being a cunt."image

In memoriam, Joffrey Baratheon.

I was so sad that he didn’t get slapped in his last episode…

I think getting poisoned covers it




teamdickrats:

stars-will-lead-the-way:

incision:

elizabethii:

The Queen breaking into laughter as She passes Her husband, the Duke of Edinburgh, standing outside the Buckingham Palace, 2005

she’s so cute

anytime the queen goes past any of her family she just pisses herself laughing, i love it

HEHEHEHE PHILLIP I’M A STAMP AND YOU’RE NOT

teamdickrats:

stars-will-lead-the-way:

incision:

elizabethii:

The Queen breaking into laughter as She passes Her husband, the Duke of Edinburgh, standing outside the Buckingham Palace, 2005

she’s so cute

anytime the queen goes past any of her family she just pisses herself laughing, i love it

HEHEHEHE PHILLIP I’M A STAMP AND YOU’RE NOT




recipesforweebs:

Ah, Ramen. The instant stuff weeaboos and college kids eat almost 3 times a day. What a treasure. You know what I’m gonna teach you what to make? Ramen that isn’t instant, and doesn’t taste like you poured an entire fucking salt shaker into your fucking bowl. God damn…MSG, amirite?
Anyway, this recipes like pretty fucking delish, so we’re gonna have a pretty rad time making it, okay?O FUCKING KAY.~Ponyo-style Ramen(servings: 1 bowl)adapted from: x
Ingredients for Home made noodles-
3/4 cups all purpose flour
1 egg
3/4 tsp salt (plus more to taste)
~1 Tbsp water (or more give or take)
Ingredients for soup-
2 cups pork or vegetable broth*
1 Tbsp fresh miso paste
1 tsp soy sauce (add more if you want it to be saltier)
1/4 tsp dashi granules
1/4 cup fresh bean sprouts
Ingredients for toppings-
1/2 scallion stalk
1 egg, hard boiled
1 piece of thick cut ham sliced in half
1 Tbsp olive oil
~Procedure for noodles-
Mix all of the dry ingredients together and make a small ‘well’ in the center of the mixture.
Mix all of the wet ingredients together and pour the mixture into the center ‘well’ of the dry ingredients.
Slowly combine the ingredients together until it becomes a hard dough.
Knead that dough hardcore motherfucker. Knead it the same way you need every little bit of merch with your waifu’s face on it. Yeah I know i said ‘need’ instead of ‘knead’. Fight me. I dare you.
Roll it into a ball and test the consistency. If it’s WAY too stick, add some flour, if it’s really hard and not sticky at all, add a TEENY bit of water. The dough should only be a tiny bit sticky, like not enough to stick anyway, u feel me
Once the doughs at the right consistency, wrap the dough ball in a dish towel and let that shit rest for like an hour. You rocked it’s work, tiger, and now it just needs to recharge a little. Am I implying you had sexual relations with a noodle? Yes. sort of. It’s been a long day.
Take the dough ball once it’s rested and sprinkle flour over that shit. Make it rain, holla. place it on a flour’d counter and use a rolling pin to flatten it out. Like real talk. 
If the dough starts sticking during the rolling process, slap some more flour on that shit.
Put the dough sheet on your cutting board and spread a bunch of flour over it. Real talk, get reaaaaaal liberal about your flour use here. You DO NOT want your noodles sticking together once we cut them.
Fold the sheet two times in the same direction, spreading flour over the sheet each time you fold it.
Once it’s folded, start cutting it into thin noodles. If you think it’s going to start stick, add some more flour onto that biz.
Once you’re done cutting them and you have a huge ass pile of noodles, toy at them a little with your fingers to unfold and separate them a bit. Then toss that shit around with some more flour.
Get some water bowling, enough to cover all the noodles, and just sort of sprinkle the noodles in. If you plop em all in they’ll stick and shit, so don’t do that. 
Cook for abot 4 minutes, tasting a noodle occasionally to see if they’re done. I like undercooking mine a tiny bit so they fully cook in the soup.
Once they’re done cooking, strain them and place them in the bowl you’re gonna eat from. 
And bam. You finished the noodles. Are you proud of yourself? Do you want a hug? Fuck off, we’re not done yet ho we still got a WORLD of shit to finish before you can eat this mystical creation based off of Miyazaki’s food porn masterpiece.
Procedure for Soup-
In a medium sized pot, add the stock, dashi, and soy sauce. Bring it to a boil over high heat.
Remove from heat and stir in the miso. If you want to add more miso or something, fuckin go for it, it’s your life.
Add the bean sprouts in now so they warm up a little. Pour the soup into the bowl of noodles and stir it around so the bean sprouts and noodles are all intertwined.
Oh hot damn. You finished dat soup. Wow. how cool are you? Not that cool yet, because you still need to do the last few toppings you lil shitbaby.
Procedure for toppings-
Pour enough water to cover an egg into a small pot and bring to a boil. Once boiling, place the egg in gently and let it stay there for like 10 minutes.
Once the egg’s cooked for about 10 minutes, take that shit out and place it in a small bowl of ice water so it can cool down.
Once it’s cooled, remove the shell and cut it in half vertically. Place one of the halves on top of the ramen and eat the other one yourself with a sprinkle of salt because you deserve it. Love yourself a little.
Get some thick cut ham slices, like the thickest you can find, get a piece and cut it in half. Drizzle a frying pan with olive oil and let it heat up before placing the ham slices on there. 
Cook until heated up but not browned and place atop the noodles.
Thinly dice half the chive stock and place it atop the noodles as well.
~HOLY SHIT YOU JUST MADE YOURSELF SOME MIYAZAKI NOODLESARE YOU PROUD? YOU SHOULD BE. YOU BASICALLY MADE ART.No seriously, put that shit in MOMA and it will probably sell a lot quicker than like, fuckin, idk, cubism or whatever. Because Ramen always tastes better than oil paint, trust me.
Alright nerds, that’s Ponyo’s Ramen for you, enjoy eating literally 10 bowls of it while crying over fucking fish people you sad piece of trash.LOVE YOU, BYE

recipesforweebs:

Ah, Ramen. The instant stuff weeaboos and college kids eat almost 3 times a day. What a treasure. 

You know what I’m gonna teach you what to make? Ramen that isn’t instant, and doesn’t taste like you poured an entire fucking salt shaker into your fucking bowl. God damn…MSG, amirite?

Anyway, this recipes like pretty fucking delish, so we’re gonna have a pretty rad time making it, okay?

O FUCKING KAY.

~

Ponyo-style Ramen
(servings: 1 bowl)
adapted from: x

Ingredients for Home made noodles-

  • 3/4 cups all purpose flour
  • 1 egg
  • 3/4 tsp salt (plus more to taste)
  • ~1 Tbsp water (or more give or take)

Ingredients for soup-

  • 2 cups pork or vegetable broth*
  • 1 Tbsp fresh miso paste
  • 1 tsp soy sauce (add more if you want it to be saltier)
  • 1/4 tsp dashi granules
  • 1/4 cup fresh bean sprouts

Ingredients for toppings-

  • 1/2 scallion stalk
  • 1 egg, hard boiled
  • 1 piece of thick cut ham sliced in half
  • 1 Tbsp olive oil

~

Procedure for noodles-

  • Mix all of the dry ingredients together and make a small ‘well’ in the center of the mixture.
  • Mix all of the wet ingredients together and pour the mixture into the center ‘well’ of the dry ingredients.
  • Slowly combine the ingredients together until it becomes a hard dough.
  • Knead that dough hardcore motherfucker. Knead it the same way you need every little bit of merch with your waifu’s face on it. Yeah I know i said ‘need’ instead of ‘knead’. Fight me. I dare you.
  • Roll it into a ball and test the consistency. If it’s WAY too stick, add some flour, if it’s really hard and not sticky at all, add a TEENY bit of water. The dough should only be a tiny bit sticky, like not enough to stick anyway, u feel me
  • Once the doughs at the right consistency, wrap the dough ball in a dish towel and let that shit rest for like an hour. You rocked it’s work, tiger, and now it just needs to recharge a little. Am I implying you had sexual relations with a noodle? Yes. sort of. It’s been a long day.
  • Take the dough ball once it’s rested and sprinkle flour over that shit. Make it rain, holla. place it on a flour’d counter and use a rolling pin to flatten it out. Like real talk. 
  • If the dough starts sticking during the rolling process, slap some more flour on that shit.
  • Put the dough sheet on your cutting board and spread a bunch of flour over it. Real talk, get reaaaaaal liberal about your flour use here. You DO NOT want your noodles sticking together once we cut them.
  • Fold the sheet two times in the same direction, spreading flour over the sheet each time you fold it.
  • Once it’s folded, start cutting it into thin noodles. If you think it’s going to start stick, add some more flour onto that biz.
  • Once you’re done cutting them and you have a huge ass pile of noodles, toy at them a little with your fingers to unfold and separate them a bit. Then toss that shit around with some more flour.
  • Get some water bowling, enough to cover all the noodles, and just sort of sprinkle the noodles in. If you plop em all in they’ll stick and shit, so don’t do that. 
  • Cook for abot 4 minutes, tasting a noodle occasionally to see if they’re done. I like undercooking mine a tiny bit so they fully cook in the soup.
  • Once they’re done cooking, strain them and place them in the bowl you’re gonna eat from. 
  • And bam. You finished the noodles. Are you proud of yourself? Do you want a hug? Fuck off, we’re not done yet ho we still got a WORLD of shit to finish before you can eat this mystical creation based off of Miyazaki’s food porn masterpiece.

Procedure for Soup-

  • In a medium sized pot, add the stock, dashi, and soy sauce. Bring it to a boil over high heat.
  • Remove from heat and stir in the miso. If you want to add more miso or something, fuckin go for it, it’s your life.
  • Add the bean sprouts in now so they warm up a little. Pour the soup into the bowl of noodles and stir it around so the bean sprouts and noodles are all intertwined.

Oh hot damn. You finished dat soup. Wow. how cool are you? Not that cool yet, because you still need to do the last few toppings you lil shitbaby.

Procedure for toppings-

  • Pour enough water to cover an egg into a small pot and bring to a boil. Once boiling, place the egg in gently and let it stay there for like 10 minutes.
  • Once the egg’s cooked for about 10 minutes, take that shit out and place it in a small bowl of ice water so it can cool down.
  • Once it’s cooled, remove the shell and cut it in half vertically. Place one of the halves on top of the ramen and eat the other one yourself with a sprinkle of salt because you deserve it. Love yourself a little.
  • Get some thick cut ham slices, like the thickest you can find, get a piece and cut it in half. Drizzle a frying pan with olive oil and let it heat up before placing the ham slices on there. 
  • Cook until heated up but not browned and place atop the noodles.
  • Thinly dice half the chive stock and place it atop the noodles as well.

~

HOLY SHIT YOU JUST MADE YOURSELF SOME MIYAZAKI NOODLES
ARE YOU PROUD? YOU SHOULD BE. YOU BASICALLY MADE ART.

No seriously, put that shit in MOMA and it will probably sell a lot quicker than like, fuckin, idk, cubism or whatever. Because Ramen always tastes better than oil paint, trust me.

Alright nerds, that’s Ponyo’s Ramen for you, enjoy eating literally 10 bowls of it while crying over fucking fish people you sad piece of trash.

LOVE YOU, BYE




m0rethanyoubargainedf0r:

catdad:

If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.

I reblogged this at like 4am and I’ve spent the whole day thinking about it and randomly laughing

m0rethanyoubargainedf0r:

catdad:

If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.

I reblogged this at like 4am and I’ve spent the whole day thinking about it and randomly laughing




hi:

does anyone else feel kinda chubby sometimes when ur on the computer

image

so u just take ur shirt and

image